AC: What’s all this business about an island?
Chairman: Recently people have noticed that certain elected and appointed city officials are starting to exhibit Napoleonic tendencies. While no action is called for at this time, we do want to be prepared in the event that this trend continues and the situation gets out of hand. The Europeans had an excellent solution for the Napoleon problem back in the 1800s, so we too are attempting to identify a suitable island, in the event we need one.
AC: You mean banish these people to an island?
Chairman: Oh, we’ll get a court order. It will be perfectly legal.
AC: Well, have you had any luck so far?
Chairman: We’ve considered a number of islands. We decided Alcatraz was not secure enough since Clint Eastwood got off of it so easily. Angel Island has too many people, turns out. The Farallons looked pretty good, but the research scientists out there said the birds and the seals wouldn’t like it. They did say the sharks wouldn’t mind. But we decided to keep on looking.
AC: That seems wise.
Chairman: Oh yes! See, the Europeans blew it on their first island which was Elba, I think. Napoleon managed to escape from there and proceeded to cause a lot more mischief, known as the Battle Of Waterloo, if you’ll remember. Then the English stuck him on St. Helena, and that worked out great since he never did get off that one. Anyway, we just can't chance an escape. Once we put them there, we sure don’t want them showing back up again at some council or committee meeting. Or fomenting mischief from across the border in El Cerrito. So we absolutely must get it right the first time.
AC: But how about the island in the photo? Is that your choice?
Chairman: It looks quite promising. Lots of birds’ eggs for food, and that. But I can’t tell you where it is for security reasons.
AC: We quite understand, and thanks for sharing.
Chairman: My pleasure.
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