Our AlbanyCentral reporter decided to have a look at the new mosaic mural that now adorns the restrooms at Terrace Park. An opening celebration at the greatly improved park was held just weeks ago. Our reporter enjoyed the mural a quite a bit, but was presently amazed (perhaps even shocked) to see Sandra P. Landers emerge from the men’s stall. Now Mrs. Landers is well known as a genteel woman of the finest sensibilities, and to find her hanging around a men’s room like some U.S. Senator prompted our reporter to ask her what was going on.
AC: Sandra, nice to see you. But what on earth were you doing sneaking out of the men’s side of the new restrooms?
Sandra: Oh dear me! I’m so embarrassed, but I can explain it.
AC: Please do.
Sandra: Well, you see, I came up here to admire the new mural. But to see the whole history of California depicted on a restroom wall like that was so exciting that I just felt a need to use the facilities, as they say.
AC: But why the men’s side?
Sandra: Well, you ninny, of course I tried the women’s side first. What do you think? But the commode, I believe it is known as, was so stuffed with towels and what I will just call “other material”, that it would not flush and was completely unusable. So my only recourse, in view of my excited state, was to try the other side.
AC: And that worked better?
Sandra: Oh yes. The commode there did flush okay. But I must say that that contraption on the wall, some sort of guy thing I believe it is, was just as full of towels as the commode on the woman's side. But not being an individual of the masculine gender, I am not qualified to say whether it would have worked or not.
AC: Well thank you so much, Sandra. This is a brand new facility, and it is a shame to see that the maintenance requirements of two bathrooms have already overwhelmed the city’s capabilities. But we will certainly bring it to their attention. And of course, if someone just wants to admire the mural and not actually use the facilities, why then it’s just fine.
Editor’s Note: It’s an ill wind that blows nobody good, as the saying goes. The several Bay Area tour bus companies that were planning to make Terrace Park a tour stop have reconsidered based on the condition of the restrooms. Those living near the park can now relax about traffic congestion and parking, or lack thereof, for the buses.
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