meetingmar5


	CITY COUNCIL MEETING, MARCH 5 (Abridged version. We must also point out that our reporter’s memory is not the best, and she sometimes engages in small flights of fancy.) Mayor: We’ll now do a workshop to make some plans in the major areas of concern for Albany. I’ll turn it over to staff. Staff: First is communications. We need to communicate more. For example, people in Albany are just going about their daily lives not realizing what they should be doing to achieve a carbon neutral lifestyle and get ready for the earthquake. Mayor: Well we have met with Berkeley and they said they would let us use their communications production facilities if we would let them participate in programming the music for Channel 33. They like jazz, which is what we play, but they also like bluegrass, and think we should play more of that. We're close to a deal. Council Member: And of course we need to communicate on disaster planning. The strategy of just bending over and kissing your #%% goodbye in the event the BIG ONE hits, is not very comprehensive, I don’t think. Mayor: Yes, yes. We have lots to do there. Next category please. Staff: Next is demographics. It’s all about people. How many young ones, how many old ones, and like that. We need more recreation facilities since people don’t have enough places to hang out and have fun. Council Member: We have plenty of street corners in Albany. Can’t they hang out there? Like in the olden days and on TV? If they promise not to smoke? Mayor: It’s a possibility, but what we really need is the Veteran's Memorial Building for rainy days. Next subject please. Council Member: But I heard something about carbon dating. Could they do that at the Teen Center? Mayor: That’s something else. Next please. Staff: Economics is next. Since the last Council effectively fought off the race track development plan, which would have put Albany on a sound financial footing for the remainder of the twenty first century, we do have somewhat of a challenge here. Mayor: Let’s not overstate the case here. There’s state money, federal money, regional money, grants, loans, bonds, stocks, no not stocks, but anyway lots of money and earmarks floating around and Albany can certainly rake in its share. Intensive green development on Cleveland Avenue is the key, and we are working on that. Council Member: Could the new Mary Jane Facility be considered a green business? Mayor: I suggest you don’t refer to marijuana as Mary Jane. Staff: For part of the year only, while the marijuana is in the growing stages. Council Member: But after that? Staff: At the time it is smoked, it adds to the personal carbon footprint of the individual smoking it, and the collective carbon footprint for Albany. Of course, if they smoke it outside of Albany, as a city, we're off the hook. Mayor: But I understand that can be offset by planting trees. Staff: Yes, that is correct. We might also point out that as a tincture it is more environmentally friendly. And easier on the lungs too, since marijuana has roughly four times the tar of cigarettes. It is said that you could drive a little car around in the lungs of a heavy marijuana smoker since the surfaces in there are mostly tarmac. Council Member: Well, I think if some of the store fronts along Solano Avenue were spiffy’d up, that would help. And a “Shop Albany” campaign would also be good if we could come up with some things for people to buy. Mayor: Well all these are great ideas, but the strategy that’s really going to pull us out is parking meters. Berkeley has them and the revenues are astounding, to say nothing of the parking ticket revenue which is also very impressive. Council Member: But in the recent racetrack controversy we were told that they planned to put in a Racino with slot machines. I’m afraid people will call parking meters “Albany Slots” or "Albany No-arm Bandits”. And Solano and San Pablo Avenues could become known as “Parkinos”. Mayor: You certainly are feeling your oats today. The comparison between slot machines and parking meters is totally invalid! For example, parking meters never pay out. Staff: Studies have also shown that revenue opportunities can be expanded. As people use the side streets to avoid the meters, more meters can be infiltrated into the residential areas. It works well for Berkeley. Council Member: But I’ve been thinking. If the medical marijuana facility is a great success, wouldn’t a ferry be good to bring patients over from San Francisco and increase taxes that way? If they had their photo ID’s? Mayor: That’s enough! No ferries!! Next topic please. We are running out of time. Staff: Well, we still have Albany Environment, Public Safety, and the Waterfront to discuss. Mayor: We’ll have to review those later. For now, I’ll just say that we are being very proactive in all these areas. On the environment you can now get in your car and deliver your used up AA batteries to City Hall. In regard to the waterfront, the committees and commissions involved have eliminated all the old development-oriented members and are finally making some good progress. And on public safety we are strengthening our block captains. Council Member: You mean we are sending them to the gym? Mayor: Geez! This workshop is concluded. We will now hold our regular council meeting. REGULAR MEETING The regular meeting was quite short and AC will just hit a few of the highlights. There was discussion about re-adopting the Albany Bicycle Plan. Pending this, our advice is not to ride your bike. But if you must, here are some instructions to get you through this difficult period. 1. Make sure your tires are pumped up 2. Sit on the seat. 3. Put your feet on the pedals. 4. Ride off. Then there was a plea to the Council by former mayor, Allan Maris, to treat Albany’s public art with more care and gentleness. Council Members agreed they would try to do better in the future, and instructed the city staff to be careful also. Two Albany residents made well-documented and impassioned statements urging the council not to bring a marijuana facility into the city. But a representative from Berkeley said it would be fine, so the Council voted unanimously to do it. The subject of street closures at the El Cerrito Plaza border was discussed and it was learned that we could settle this question with studies and legal fees estimated at around $50K. It was stated a number of times that “traffic calming” approaches could possibly be used to avoid the closures. Asked what “traffic calming” measures consisted of, the Council said the short answer was that it really didn’t know. Presumably, the long answer would have been the same, with the short answer simply being repeated several times. (AC has since learned that “traffic calming” consists of stop signs in the middle of blocks, 5 foot high speed bumps, and in extreme cases, road blocks where tranquilizer pills--or joints for those with picture I.D.'s-- are handed out to calm distraught drivers.)